This is probably the first year that I’ve ever conducted a life reflection. I actually used the fantastic workbook created by Sophie Cliff, Reflect and Grow. It’s a wonderful resource to really hone in on what kind of year 2019 was for you and what you’d like 2020 to look like. I have some pretty big ideas for 2020 which I’m so excited about. But I also know to achieve some of these big dreams there have to be some bad habits that I need to let go of and leave behind on December 31st. So, in true blogger fashion, I thought I’d share them all with you today, here are the 5 habits I want to leave behind in 2019!
I would also love to know if there’s any habit you’re leaving behind this year, let me know in the comments.
Not Believing in Myself
For some crazy reason, I’ve never been a big self believer. I say this is crazy because there isn’t anything that I’ve ever set out to do and haven’t achieved. Like honestly, when I make a list of everything I’ve achieved in my life thus far, it’s pretty incredible. So why do I struggle so much with believing in myself? Well, I think it has something to do with being a people pleaser and wanting to be liked by everyone. Unfortunately, I’ve learnt the hard way to find out that it’s impossible to be liked by everyone. I certainly don’t like everyone I meet, and you really cannot please everyone either.
But what I’m also coming to learn is that it doesn’t matter who else you are pleasing if you’re not pleasing yourself.
We are taught by society that loving yourself comes with an ugly ego and I’m realising that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s time to start believing in my dreams because only I’m capable of making them happen. And I didn’t make this far in life by accident. I’ve travelled to Australia and New Zealand within the last two years because I made it happen!
Using Negative Language Towards Myself
I’m getting rid of the ‘I can’t’s and replacing them with ‘how can I learn how to do this’. I’m replacing the ‘people like me don’t do things like this’ with ‘I am capable of anything’. The ‘I’m not good enough’s are turning into ‘I am worthy’. Get the picture? I’m certainly guilty of talking negatively about myself to myself. Even for the simplest things like bumping into the chair by calling myself clumsy instead of thinking ah maybe next time I’ll walk a little slower through the stock room that resembles a death trap.
The words we use about ourselves can have a harrowing effect on our mental health. I wouldn’t dream of calling one of my friends or colleagues ugly, stupid, an idiot so why do I think it’s okay to call myself it? Well, it isn’t.
As I get older my friendship group gets smaller and smaller. Probably because I refuse to keep company that doesn’t make me feel good. I’ve had a habit of doing this in the past and holding onto toxic people and friendships. Anyone who doesn’t believe in your dreams or cheerlead you on isn’t a friend. People have a funny way of showing us they love us sometimes but at the end of the day, I only want people in my life who cheer me on, believe in me and make time for me. Being a friend, wife, daughter, a partner is a two-way street. I’m so done with making efforts with others and not getting the favour returned. Brutal, I know!
I’ve always been a bit of ‘sod it, why the hell not’ type of gal. This, for the most part, is a great personality trait to have and something I cherish often, however, one area of my life I don’t need that attitude is impulse buying! I have a terrible habit of wanting something and just buying it often with very little thought. I’d love to spend a little less and save a little more next year so I’m going to make a conscious effort before buying things/spending money.
Self Sabotage Stories
I often tell myself and others that I have a vivid imagination. This comes in pretty handy when I’m writing blog posts or creating other types of content but it also means I create some crazy situations in my head too. My mind often goes into overdrive when I think I might have upset someone or done something wrong. For example, I see that someone hasn’t replied to an email or message and of course that automatically equals pure hatred from them to me right? When in actual fact they probably just haven’t looked at their phone or simply forgot! The negative stories we tell ourselves often never come to light so in reality we just worry about a whole lot of nothing!
So there you have it. The 5 habits I want to leave behind in 2019. Perhaps this time next year I’ll let you all know how it went. One thing is for sure though, 2020 is going to be filled with a whole lot of love, joy and smiles.
If you’re reading this when it goes out then I hope you have a wonderful Christmas! And for anyone else I’m just glad you found your way to this page no matter what time of year it is! Remember, It’s never too late to try and swap out some of your life long habits for healthier ones. I hope that you enjoyed this little post if you did let me know and of course, please share it with your friends if you think they might like it!
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- Why I Think Saying No is So Important As a Nurse and in Life
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Love Alicia x